My Little Rock Star.....

Thought you all would like to see Madi in action! She is such a nut! She is using a bubble blower as a microphone (notice the massive amounts of bubble solution spilled onto the brick planter). This is just one of the 4 videos I took of her that night. I am so blessed! I laugh so hard every day that my cheeks hurt with her antics! 

 

Happy Birthday Joshua!

When I picture you in my head it is the you from a few years ago. It was the first time you met James. We're standing outside St. Mary's on a a beautiful Sunday morning after mass....

There is so much I want to tell you now. So much left to say. What we had went beyond the normal boundaries of "friendship" but it seemed to work for us. I had/have a serious case of "Hero Worship" when it comes to you Josh. I idolized you. You never could understand why because you didn't see yourself the way the rest of the world saw you. You were always telling me to be true to myself and to follow my heart, not just my head. But that was what you struggled with too. 

I know that you knew what you meant to everyone but I wish that you had truly believed that you were a vital and essential part of people's lives. That without you here things will never again be the same for many of us. 

There have been many times in the last 10 months that I have picked up the phone to call you and then realized that I couldn't. I know there they will be many more times in my life that I will want to call you for advice, to share something or just to hear your voice. 

In a letter you wrote to me in 1998 you said, "I'd just like to say thank you because you've taught me so much about people, and myself, over the years. You're probably one of the greatest friends I have ever had." - Right back at ya Joshie! 

There is a hardly a moment that goes by that you are not on my mind. Sometimes the realization that you are not here becomes so overwhelming it's hard to breathe. You were always so conscientious to the feelings of the people who loved you. I know that you never ever would have wanted to cause others so much pain. 

I hope that you are having a wonderful birthday with your loved ones up there. I know you and Pat are probably celebrating together. Would you kiss my new angel for me? It helps so much knowing that he or she is being held in the loving arms of you and my grandma. I love you Bubba. Always have, always will. Happy Birthday my love! 

xoxo, 

Nicole

It's been awhile!

Forgive me for not updating this thing more frequently! Life has been a whirlwind these last 2 months. It's certainly not any less crazy but I figured it was time! Instead of trying to catch you up on what's been going on let me just give you the recent highlights. Last Wednesday we adopted at Cavachon (1/2 Bichon Frise and 1/2 King Charles Cavalier) puppy. He's 14 weeks old and named Vader (yes, I allowed James to name him. Having a dog with a Star Wars name is MUCH better  than having a child with a Star Wars name right?? haha!) He came from a rather unfortunate situation with a diaper on, stuck in a crate, nails too long, and ear infections in both ears. He's starting to get the hang of going potty outside and not where ever he feels like it, and got his nails clipped and ear medicine from the vet. He's currently 7 pounds but the vet believes he'll get to 14. He's absolutely adorable. Black and white with long hair. He loves to cuddle and snuggle and doesn't let his "family" out of his sight. He always has to be with one of us. He has taken to sleeping on Madi's bed (which my little animal nut of a daughter is LOVING). He went to Youth Night with me last night for the first time and was practically mauled by my high schoolers. They LOVED him and quickly tuckered him out. He slept well last night!! Pretty sure he's adjusting quite well to his new life and enjoying being with a family. Currently he's curled up at my feet making a suckling noise like a new born baby.....oh, yes, we're in love! 

Stay tuned......more to come.........

Love You Forever....

This is Ms. Madi reading the book "Love You Forever". We typically read this story every night and sing the song together. I walked into her room and found her reading and just thought it was too cute! 

Blessings and Bumps!

What a weekend! 

Thursday night while James was at work and Madi was at Grandma's I had my 3 best friends over for some dinner, wine, and conversation. We had an excellent time and have decided that while we usually go out for our Girls Nights (and it's nice to once in awhile) we are going to alternate hosting dinners. One of them has been a part of my life since we were in middle school, one of them had a younger brother that we were friends with and his passing has brought us closer together, the other I just met a year ago! I am so blessed to have these ladies in my life! 

We took off on Friday for a long weekend in Tahoe. Not much fresh snow but there was snow on the ground and that was enough to please Madi. Once we got to the house we rented (horrible traffic turned a 2.5-3hour car ride into a 7 hour car ride...with a 2 year old and then the road to the house and the driveway were completely frozen over so we had to put chains on and still get out with a shovel and break up the ice! UGH! It was actually about 9 hours after departing that we were actually IN the house!) and got our vacation started we were exhausted! haha! We need a vacation from our vacation. We spent the first day just laying low, grocery shopping, de-icing the driveway, and playing in the yard and around the house in the snow. The second day James went downhill skiing and Madi and I rented snowshoes and went out for a walk. Last year we pulled her around in a sled while we snowshoed. It was a little hard for Mommy to see her baby with snow shoes on walking around like such a big girl! Monday we packed up and headed for home, making a stop in a small gold-rush town called Placerville along the way. We had a wonderful vacation and were so blessed to be able to go.

When we returned I found out that one of my best friends had a miscarriage at 9 weeks over the weekend. My heart is breaking for her and her family while they all try to sort through their emotions and grief. Our thoughts and prayers are with them and we are showering them with love. 

All the bumps along our road are overshadowed by all the blessings that we have been given! God is good! 

Thank you for being a friend...

5 years ago tomorrow I lost my wonderful grandmother. She was absolutely one of my best friends and one of the most amazing women I have ever met! She had the hardest life, born into poverty with a screwed up "family life", abandoned by who she thought was her father when he went off to war, child abuse, her only sibling Buzz committed suicide after returning from Vietnam, she married her high school sweetheart and had 2 kids only to be left 20 years later for her best friend. After all of that she was the most compassionate, loving person I have ever met. She never said a bad thing about ANYONE...."hate" was not in her vocabulary and she quickly removed it from ours when she heard us say it! In 2003 she was diagnosed with Leukemia and after a very courageous battle she passed away on January 13th, 2004. On January 11th she slipped into a coma. She was home, we all had a chance to say our goodbyes. I spent a good deal of the morning of the 13th and the previous day in bed next to her. Just holding onto her, brushing what little hair had managed to grow back after the chemo, and trying to memorize the way her hands looked, the way she smelled, the lines on her face, the softness of her skin. Hospice was there with a chaplin and my mom, my sister, and I were in the room with her and the chaplin. The chaplin was amazing and shared our faith. She held my grandma's hand and told her she was beautiful and reminded her of St. Anne, Mary's mother. She asked if we would sing the Hail Mary with her, we all joined hands and started singing. As we sang, "Amen" my grandmother exhaled for the last time. It was the most beautiful way to die. We were so so so heart broken that she was gone but so thankful that she was at peace. An extraordinary women deserved nothing less than an extraordinary moment like that! Our heart break continues after 5 years. We miss her terribly each day and especially on special occasions. She was the rock of our family and nothing has really seemed "right" since she left us. This is something that I wrote last year and gave to my grandfather and mom in a frame with a picture of her. 

LOVE

Love is...Wide tanned feet in purple Birkenstocks

Love is...Sleepovers with popcorn watching Jeopardy and Golden Girls

Love is...A shoebox full of costume jewlery and a closet full of high heels

Love is...Always behind the camera lens but never in front of it.

Love is...Lazy summer days lounging by the pool eating green grapes

Love is...Tomatoes and cucumbers fresh from the garden

Love is...Vanilla pudding in Cool Whip before it was commercial

Love is...Fruit salad in a larger than life green Tupperware bowl

Love is...Gas money left in the jar

Love is...Ritz crackers, cheddar cheese and salami after school

Love is...The scent of jasmine and orchids on a hot Hawaiian afternoon

Love is...Telling the monkeys to get out of your hair

Love is...Wacky dangly earrings

Love is..."Catywhompis"

Love is...Orange juice on the ceiling

Love is...A snack drawer

Love is...Being everyone's "grandma"

Love is...Hands soft as velvet always ready to help

Love is...a soft body in a chartreuse green shirt

Love is...Sharon Lenora Stockwell

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! 

2008 was a trying year and we are glad to see it end! 

I spent New Years Eve by myself on our big couch, doing some reading, tea drinking, and relaxing. James has been in bed with the flu and Madi went to bed at 6pm. She had the flu a few days ago and I'm pretty sure she is still trying to recover! So, Mommy got some quality quiet time and for all of you Mommies you know how precious that can be! haha! 

What are your goals, hopes, prayers for 2009? Since we lost several family members and friends in 2008 we pray that 2009 will be a year without loss! My brother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in October of 2007 so 2008 has been really hard on our family as we tried our best to support him and got a quick education on all things bipolar! Our general statement this year has been, "Mental illness is just so unfair!" We will continue to support, love, and cherish him and pray for him daily in 2009. We would love to see the economy turn around so we can sell our condo and buy a house with a yard! We hope God will bless us with a brother or sister for Madi and we pray that all of our friends and family have a healthy year. 

We hope 2009 brings you all health and happiness and may God bless you abundantly this year! 

All our love!